Sounds like a disease or a curse—or something reserved for loners. Definitely something to get out of as fast as possible—right?
After all, God said it was not good for man to be alone.
Is singleness just a between stage, where nothing of real substance can arise from it?
Is singleness just a breeding ground for our loneliness, temptation, and selfishness? Certainly not something we can be content about...
The stigma around singleness and just being single is real, especially within the Christian community. Our high view of marriage is not the culprits. Instead, the blame falls upon those who believe and espouse one of the above sentences or something similar.
Even in the midst of this stigma around singleness and singles, we, as followers of Christ, need to move beyond mere personal opinion and glean God's perspective on singleness and God's calling on those who are single.
God's perspective on singles
God through the words of Paul in 1 Corinthians, speaks of the benefits of singleness:
But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
1 Corinthians 7:33-35
It is clear that Paul is convinced of the benefits of singleness, being that it is a means to serve God without distraction. However, it is also understood that, in marriage, there can be a right and holy fulfillment of sexual desires, which is not appropriate for singles.
God is clear that He has given marriage as an avenue to fulfill those desires— this being one aspect of the purpose of marriage.
In light of biblical truth, it is clear that singleness is a legitimate stage in which to live to bring God glory. However, for many of us, if we're single, we desire for this phase of singleness to be over—and quick!
Considering the weight that God puts on singleness as a means to serve Him wholeheartily without distractions, we ought to put some thought into how to use this time of singleness.
Don't waste your singleness
That's the challange.
Many sit and wait, some endlessly date, others live in self-pity, and some others cower in loneliness. Unfortunately, some even use this time of singleness to pursue pleasure or selfish endeavors.
There seems to be many ways people waste their singleness.
Become who you want to be with... Become like Jesus
In my blog post True Love Waits… For Whom? 4 Things To Look For In a Potential Spouse, I talk about 4 different things to look for in a spouse.
I think being single is the perfect time to become the person God desires you to be with the characteristics you will also desire in a potential spouse.
You say you want to marry a godly person—don't sit around waiting for th —take this time—however long it may be, to become more like the person you want to be with... Jesus!
However, this doesn't happen out of sheer will, but through the power and presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives.
Focus on making plans for God... Not for a relationship
This might sound counterproductive, but it is really a question of goals.
Is your goal to get married?
You may say yes—but think about it.
You don't want to be married to just anyone. So you might say your goal is to get married to the right person.
But that still isn't the ultimate goal we should be shooting for.
We want to follow God—what He wants for us, but we also have the tendency to take this into our own hands and make things happen.
How do we reconcile the two?
We can't be totally committed to God and His plans for us, while we're intent on making our primary focus getting a relationship.
My encouragement to you is this: As much as we want to control our future, we can't. However, God knows our future and He wants us to align ourselves with Him as we plan for the future.
Our goal should be to do just that—make plans to follow God completely because His timing is always perfect.
Move at God's pace!
Don't waste your singleness...
Being single does not mean there's something wrong with you.
Being single does not mean God is punishing you.
Being single is not a waste... so don't make it one.
God knows where you're at—He wants you to trust Him.
Will you trust Him?
Song of the Week - Great Is Thy Faithfulness
Read my last blog post here